No, I Won't Be Calling My Dad on Sunday
What it feels like to mourn the living
Both kids wrapped up their last day of school yesterday, so we are now officially on summer break—cue the chaos and sunscreen.
My son kicks off camp Monday (thank you, sweet structured activity), while my daughter has entered delicate negotiations to stay home with the solemn vow: no iPad. I’m now taking bets on who loses their mind first—me or her.
So all this time my doctor should’ve just prescribed small talk?
Lisa Bilyeu was a guest on Jay Shetty’s podcast, where she interviewed him. It was incredibly thought-provoking. I'm sharing just a few things I screenshotted below:
-What if you’re asking the wrong people the right questions? (this was such a powerful question) Jay talks about going on an 'opinion fast' to rebuild self-confidence and reconnect with your own intuition.
-On relationships, and the difference between adjusting and abandoning yourself: Adjusting yourself means I’m making room for love. Abandoning means I’m disappearing to make space for it.
-On the difference between love and lust: Lust is that excitement and exhilaration of connection, while love is how you handle disconnection. If there’s only lust, then when there’s an argument or there’s a disagreement you don’t know how to get on the same page. That’s why they call it make up sex because you resort to an activity that’s fueled by passion. (this was interesting)
-On the difference between comfort and complacency. Comfort is something you feel together, complacent is something one person feels. And on this note, he shared this:
A lot of us feel like we’re the only ones putting in the effort, so Jay recommends doing a 'relationship audit.' He says people usually assume it only involves two things: finances and the home. But in reality, he believes there are five key areas to consider—and if you’re handling four out of five, it may be a sign that your partner is becoming complacent.
Here are the five pillars of a relationship audit:
Physical – Who’s taking care of the house and the day-to-day responsibilities?
Financial – Who’s earning the income and/or managing the finances?
Mental – Who’s shaping the mindset or direction of the relationship?
Emotional – Who’s responsible for nurturing and maintaining emotional connection?
Spiritual – Who’s guiding the spiritual or values-based direction of the relationship?
I found this fascinating, would love your thoughts on this “audit.”
ANYWAY. Highly recommend listening. Loved his habits on self-worth, his nighttime routine, and so many other topics he touched on. Linking the full episode here.
This girl on IG asked people to tell her the most embarrassing thing that happened to them while doing the deed and the comments have me cackling. Sharing a few below:
-I once read on reddit that a girl said "move faster" but the guy thought shed said "mufasa" and so he roared like a lion🤣
-I accidentally called him a good girl 😭
-He bit my ear and swallowed my earring.
-When I was climax instead of saying oh God, I said God bless America.
-I queefed, we both started laughing, then he was about to go back in and he farted, we both started laughing again, and he said, “our holes are talking!”
-I was wearing one of the first Apple watched and it called the police because my heart rate was too high
-I passed out for 10 seconds after finishing and when I came back he was crying he thought I died
-Didn’t realize our black cat was in the pillows until he pushed my face down into the pillows and we heard a very disappointed meow
(In order from left to right)
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Just started season 2 and I’m hooked. If you’re a sucker for reality TV, you’ll love this.
Before I Let Go: So many people on TikTok raved about this book and I’m loving it so far. It’s about a divorced couple with kids that own a restaurant together. No spoilers please!
If Father’s Day makes you want to crawl under the covers, hide from social media, or scream into a decorative pillow, just know that you’re not alone. Maybe you're estranged from your dad, your mom, or someone else you were supposed to have a relationship with just because of their title. Maybe Father’s day feels weird, loaded, or just kind of... hollow.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum of complicated family dynamics, maybe you’ll see yourself in my story. Maybe parts will hit you right in the gut, or maybe it’ll just feel good to know someone else gets it.
And before you make the decision to read the rest of this post looking for the tea — the why behind why I’m not speaking to my father — you can stop right here.
This post isn’t about the drama. It’s about what it feels like as a child. The emotional aftermath. The grief, the guilt, the confusion. It’s about what it’s like to mourn someone who’s still very much alive, and still somehow haunting the background of your thoughts.