Go Be Your Favorite Self
Writing this broke my brain
I got propositioned by a half-naked homeless man in a wheelchair this week—yes, you read that correctly. I had stopped my car to see if he needed help, and I guess he interpreted my concern as an invitation for something else. My 12-year-old daughter was in the car with me and actually warned me not to stop, so I’m not sure what that says about my own judgment.
After a few more increasingly bizarre exchanges, we met somewhere in the middle: a $10 bill, a very awkward goodbye, and me driving away in a panic.
In other news, my son turns 15 on Sunday. FIFTEEN. Like, he can literally drive this year. I swear to God, I was just driving him home from the hospital yesterday. There’s something deeply bittersweet about watching your kids grow older. You get to discover and appreciate new sides of them, while also grieving the little versions of them you’ll never get to experience again.
If anyone needs me I’ll be looking at old pictures and crying all weekend.
Why do I find this so fascinating?
A girl on TikTok (@luvvia35) said she was comparing herself to her ex’s new girlfriend, saying she was better, prettier, etc. I loved the screenshot of the text she shared from her sister:
“You’re looking at another woman through the eyes of your insecurity. You don’t actually know her, but you’ve already decided she’s better than you because a man chose her. His choice doesn’t create her value, and it never took away yours. Stop making yourself smaller just because someone failed to make you feel chosen.”
I don’t even know who I am anymore with all these sports references lately, but I saw a girl on IG (@tarynarnoldscott) use an analogy to describe how important the people around you are and I had to share.
So you know how home teams win more often? Across pretty much every sport, consistently. People assumed it was because of logistics—travel fatigue, unfamiliar stadiums, different weather, all of that. But then COVID happened, and games were played without fans and the home-field advantage disappeared.
Researchers found that it wasn’t the location itself that mattered. It was the belief that people were there for you—actively and loudly cheering you on. And they found the opposite was also true: when the crowd boos, performance drops.
And as the girl in the video points out, I feel like that’s such a powerful reminder of how much the people around us matter.
A Toxic Love Story: This was wild. I don’t want to say too much and give it away, but it’s a true crime story about a cyberstalking case.
Four Thousand Weeks: I know this looks like a “how-to” book, but I found it incredibly thought-provoking. I’m only halfway through, but it’s much more of a philosophical reflection on time, ambition, and the reality that our lives are short.
I saw a sentence on Substack this week that I cannot stop thinking about:
“Go be your favorite self.”
Not your best self. Your favorite self.
Which felt oddly timed because I had JUST talked to my therapist about something similar. Except my version of it involved a movie because I am incapable of explaining a human experience without a cinematic reference.
There's a scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere asks Julia Roberts, "What's your name?" and she answers, "What do you want it to be?"
I realize this was probably meant to be cute and flirty, but to me it sounded like someone who had learned to answer with the version of herself that was well-received.
Which, if we’re going back to the Substack quote, would arguably be your best self? Right? Or...I don’t know. Is it?
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if my happiest self was actually my favorite self. Because at first, I assumed they were the same thing. But when I looked back at the years I’d describe as my happiest, I wasn’t sure that was the version of myself I liked the most.
And that made my brain hurt.
So naturally, I put up a poll on Instagram, and the results were weirdly fascinating.